A few weekends back, my eldest woke my husband with those words…. ‘Where’s Mummy?’
Where was Mummy you might ask? Luckily Daddy didn’t totally drop Mummy in it… ‘She’s having a sleep over’ he said. Translation, Mummy got totally and utterly twatted on prosecco, and I haven’t heard from her as yet.
Just then Mummy falls through the front door (at around 7am – prior to children that would be have been acceptable), still wearing the clothes from last night, minus a jacket and with an aroma of ‘vin de table’ wafting about her presence.
So my eldest takes one look at Mummy, bleary eyed and stiff – from sleeping on the floor in the fetal position cuddling a magnum of prosecco – and decides now would be a fab time to paint her nails – girls ever tried that hungover… just don’t? Painting the smallest fingernails, with the shakes and using bright pink polish – essentially she ended up with pink finger tips – but whilst it was a bodge job, momentarily my little one had forgiven me for the fact I wasn’t in the bed there ready for her to tell me ‘Mummy I’m awake’.
Coupled with that, and the fact that Mummy had scheduled a family gathering that afternoon to celebrate the eldest’s birthday (fantastic! luckily said gathering was totally cool – and Mummy even managed to make cups of tea and serve M&S sandwiches). So hopefully you have realized by now the sleep over and the swim in prosecco was completely unscheduled It was down to the fact Mummy had, had a night on the Raz with friends she hadn’t seen for several months (due to babies being born, holidays, illness, childcare, general life) so there was a lot of talking and catching up to do. Unfortunately (!) meeting in a pub means that catch up does go hand in hand with booze and whilst a glass of prosecco is ALWAYS good – it is so nice to actually talk to someone about something meaningful (or not – speculating over the plotline of the Walking Dead is also a bonus) minus a changing bag or potette.
I find if you try to have a catch up over cake, tea and whilst you have your friend and their brood over conversations start and never conclude. So when someone is trying to talk to you about something of particular importance you just get a snapshot, because you really can’t concentrate for longer than the attention span of a toddler (which is about 5 minutes on average). Which actually can become a little waring especially if you really want to hear what your friend is saying. So I want to apologise to those friends I have started conversations with and then not finished – it really isn’t because you bored me, it’s because my toddler needed a snack or the toilet or was screaming that someone else was rudely playing with HER toy.
I ask you which option would you pick?
So whilst I did feel guilty about letting my hair down to the extreme only really reserved for your mid-20’s, and have beating myself up over it, what harm does a drunken girl’s night really do?
What is my point you are probably asking? Well I guess this is me saying that perhaps it is ok, the one offs are not as selfish as they first may appear (or the end of the world / or my marriage –not going to lie I nearly died when I got that text from Hubbie asking if I was ok and could I text him back… eeek!)
To be honest, I think I am a better mum and wife, when I have had some time off Mummy duty. And whilst everyone is different, and I know some mums wouldn’t dream of having any time away from their children and maybe horrified by what I am saying, I have to carve out me time to stay sane.
I think by having some time away, doing something just for me – is good for the mind, body and soul…and before you go thinking I am a total alkie, that can range from an hour off a week to do yoga or 15 minutes daily meditation time… to afternoons shopping and catching up with my bestie over beers to getting my hair done – whatever it is I need that month…
It really is ok to be Sarah. And Wife. And Mummy.
Note: first published on http://www.blendedparentnetwork.com