Wow, so inspired by another mummy blogger to just put pen to paper on how tough life can get when you are so empty, your empty is empty.
Being a mummy means you have to be always on (as when both are under 3 you are lucky to have one hand free at any one time). Being a boss also means you have to be always on (not least because your team depends on you and you get paid for that joy) And being a wife also means you should be on or turn up at least (unfortunately the hubby always lucks out, too knackered to talk, shag… smile).
And of course there is everyone else, your friends you like and manage to actually see, the friends you like but never get to see, family members, other mums, nursery staff, random people who want to talk to you ‘because you look familiar/or my kids are looking adorable/cute etc’ – you have to be ‘on’ for them too.
What I wouldn’t give to put things on pause just for a little bit, so I could stop, collect my thoughts, figure out what is going on in the vacuous space I normally call a brain. Because juggling all these balls gets pretty tough when you are running on empty.
I do want to be clear though, this feeling isn’t all the time, I have many many days where I am on top, feeling good and everything is Rosie. This feeling of tired, overwhelmed-ness(a word? Not sure), and total uninterest in everything normally comes after a holiday (returning to thousands of mail) or when I’m sick (and not able to get well) or just when the pace of life speeds up for a few days.
Currently, I am juggling a head cold (cheers fam), and I am going on holiday next week with the girls (so everything that goes with that – essentially packing up the car and preparing to be a pack horse for a week), and of course leaving work and the house in a decent enough state.
The two weeks prior to this point have been eventful too, the whole family (save me) has been poorly. So enter sleeplessness nights and more juggling with childcare / work stuff (luckily I can work from home and attend meetings virtually).
So why am I venting dear reader, because I very rarely read about the bad (or just normal) days.
I know this isn’t forever, that I’ll feel better in a day or too, I’ll relax when we get on hols and that work will still be there when I return.