So a few years back when my first baby was a blob (not being rude – she was a pooing and milk sucking blob). I raved about having your cake and eating it too.
By that I mean managing to be a full time professional working Mum. I merrily dropped my child at nursery, dried mine and her tears, and went on to be a very busy and important PR person. I managed then a team of 4 people, juggled Global and European decision makers, spent days in meetings about meetings and all the while managing to juggle night feeds, ear infections, potty training and the changing emotions of a toddler.
We got there, it worked and whilst I possibly wasn’t the most stable mentally, with family normally getting the brunt of how badly my day at work had gone, things where OK.
Not great, joyful, or amazing… OK.
Then came baby number 2. The plan remained the same. Nursery drop offs, negotiating the school traffic, I returned to work and was back managing my team as before.
Only this time it was different.
The 5 days into 4, where killer – negotiating bedtime with tired grumpy toddlers, sorting out food, before jumping on meetings with folks in the US was exhausting.
Of course it didn’t stop there, negotiating night feeds, night terrors and lying on the floor waiting for the puking to stop, does actually wear you down.
Looking back, if I tried to do something outside work and home, it ended up impacting me more so we stopped our Friday play dates because I was knackered, and I only went out socially once a month (lucikly the friends that are still about are understanding).
Why am I writing this now? Because after much deliberation and for the sake of mine and the families, mental health I have quit the high flying job. Don’t get me wrong I loved my job in PR I just know I can’t and actually don’t want to spin 100 plates anymore.
I’m by no means a lightweight but as my children are growing – walking, talking, becoming independent little souls – I realise I don’t want to miss it, especially as my eldest starts school next year.
This blog is really about admitting to myself that money isn’t everything, time is precious and my mental health and families contentment is so much more important.
Meanwhile, as I think about ‘what next’, I know whatever that is has to fit around my priorities. Wish me luck!